No! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The librarian, a white man that I'd known all my life, pushed me out into the street and told me never to come back. These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. I was kickin' butt. I can't live like this. [Carl is appalled as he has a donut in his mouth], [Carl has just bought Harriette an exercise trampoline for her birthday. Steve Urkel: Oh great! Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! I'm going home! Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. And what about the car show last Saturday? Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. "Tomorrow Dad!". Harriette: [unsympathetic] Yes! It is always tomorrow with that boy. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Was I about to take the Big Sleep? Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? I'm playing Boyd double or nothing. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, your old man's read a book or two. Five hundred on the line. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. I was in a high-speed car chase and ran out of gas. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. Harriette Winslow: Mr. Niedermeyer, the only thing that's gonna go by is you. Steve could've been killed. A mouse to cheese! You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Make one, then Xerox It! Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? No. I could hear him sobbing in his suspension chamber. How did you know? Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. Reading, 'Riting and Racism? I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Harriette: I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a home economics class. One Now, let's read it! Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Steve Urkel: Oh, please, Laura. Well it's not cool. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 24th, Raoul's houseoat is beautiful. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I almost wore that same suit. Steve Urkel: [while Laura and Maxine hit Steve with two Boston Cream Pies] No, AAH!, WAAAH! [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. Isn't that sad? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Did you think of me while you guys were camping? We're starved. I wanna show you something. You'll never know how much time you'll have together. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, bring me a slice. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? "Tomorrow Dad!" Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. I'm in this class. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker! Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Steve Urkel: King me. Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Steve Urkel: So, you used me! So to see if he can find the best, Steve challenged a few men to put their usuals to the test!SUBSCRIBE to get t. My, what strong arms. He's gonna drive us tonight. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What? Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Ouchith! Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. Steve Urkel: [ice pack on his head from a hangover, Carl just told him a story from his drinking days] Eh he he, ow, eh he he ow, [snorts] WHOOAAOOH! A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Oh man I didn't think you were this cool. Carl: [in an Urkel like voice and gives Stefan some money] Here takes some casher rooney and fix it sooney. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Nobody threatens my woman! And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Just blacked out for a second there! Laura: Dad, you're exacerbating the situation instead of ameliorating it. Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. Steve Urkel: Why, I can see the headlines now! White . Steve Urkel: [Pointing to the floor] Him. Stefan Urquelle. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! He left the minute we put a warrant up for his arrest. [Steve comes out of the freezer at Rachel's Place shivering]. His parents were very upset. [Greg leaves as Willie walks in with Waldo and the crowd boos him. When's the last time you slept? Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. I wanna read it to my mom. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. What's for dinner, milk and cookies? I'm being born! Steve Urkel: Laura! Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's that? Alright. Laura: Thank you, Steve. Raoul is the new produce manager. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Dad took Waldo instead of me. Steve Urkel | Family Matters Wiki | Fandom Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Laura Lee Winslow: [pushes some things aside] I can't pitch in right now. Laura Lee Winslow: [enters the room] All right, Curtis. Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Overall, Steve's good intentions trump his flaws and give the audience a plethora of laughs every time he comes onscreen and says, "Did I do that?" Without Steve Urkel, Family Matters would have been overlooked as just another TGIF Friday night comedy show. Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl, you lazy slug! Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. Alexandre Dumas was black. Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . So, what's cookin', good lookin'? Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. "Family Matters Quotes." None of this is your fault. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. "I heard you are looking for a stud. The truth is you deserve a kiss. We'll go camping together some other time. Rachel Crawford: How 'bout double the usual? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. An illustration of a horizontal line over an up pointing arrow. Carl Otis Winslow: Like that. Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. And I like the Red Sox. Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? All the doo da day. The Ethical Issues With Stefan Urquelle In Family Matters Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. Let's just get there! Steve Urkel: I can't help it, Laura. Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. You don't sleep, you don't have nightmares. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. Steve Urkel: How tough am I? Eddie: No, grandma. Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. Didn't you? 8. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Cassie Lynn: Well, we just got some really hot photos of you being romanced by the Prince of Passion here. Sorry. Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! You have the right to remain silent. Clean up your room Edward. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Carl: [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back! Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Steve Urkel: Could. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Steve Urkel's Young Neighbor On 'Family Matters' Is All Grown Up - HuffPost Weel Good Lord man, she's an overnight success story. The valet gave me a tip. Harriette: Who cares? Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Harriette Winslow: Carl I am not a weak, wimpy woman whose afraida to speak her mind. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. [Calls Laura's Cell and gets OGD instead]. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? If there was one thing I thought the show could have brushed up on, it would be the premise of the episodes. Laura: Don't argue. Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. College Problems Student Problems Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. They help move along our sentences. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. I can see my dad! 'Steve Urkel' Actor Jaleel White Launches Purple Urkle - Forbes Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? Am is a verb, verbs are our friends. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Easy Eddo. Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Because check this out buddy, you're alone. Come here, let me give you some sugar. Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. [Eddie leaves and Carl puts the chair away] Well that took care of everything. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. Because, I already told him I do remember him. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. It helps to determine how much help you need. Is that the problem? This isn't my grandmother. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. Bazooms! Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. Harriette: I don't know. So you have to make every minute count. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Harriette Winslow: [while trying to calm an apprehensive Rachel about leaving Richie overnight with the babysitter for the first time] Rachel, I know it's hard leaving your baby for the first time, but after that it gets a lot easier. Laura Lee Winslow: No surprise visits from Steve Urkel. Rachel Crawford: Sort of an Urkel Exchange Program? You kissed me. I love my Army. [plugs the cord into the socket]. and-so-the-balance-shifts-blog. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. Steven Quincy Urkel: Come on, yeast! Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. Who? Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. So one day I decided to do something about it. [faints]. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Carl: Uh-oh. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. I promise, okay? Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura this elixir will improve my coordination, my posture, my vocal intonation, and I might even sprout a chest hair or two. Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Steve Urkel: Look, I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, and you hardly ever get the credit you deserve. You know what? Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. Steve pits eight guys against each other in the battle for the best pickup lines. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. This means you guys have to go together. Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! Gosh I bet that's never happened before. Rachel Crawford: Steve? Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. The Battle of Pickup Lines: Part 1 || STEVE HARVEY - YouTube Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Steve Urkel: Why, sure! My head pops out! You made me so nervous that I had to go to the hospital to get the thimble taken off. Ha ha! Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? Steve Urkel: Ms Steuben, you taught Laura to slow down and stop taking short cuts. Please, my little Rapunzel. Steve looks at Laura], [At The Winslow home in the alternate world]. Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? Eddie: [after he has heard her quickly renouncing her love for him] Myrtle, what's my life going to be like without you in it? Steve who? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Steve Urkel: I've invented nuclear batteries. Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough. I was not abrasive. This isn't right Weasel. Carl: Rough. And even then I knew it wasn't right. Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! Trying to cover it up only make things worse. Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. Eddie: Oh no, I forgot all about the car show. So long! Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! We were just having a little fun. Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Laura, please. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. It's always tomorrow with that boy! You think I'm fat. Why, you teach us things about life! "Tomorrow, Dad!" Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Listen, Melissa may not be a cover girl. He introduced himself and I was immediately struck by deep brown eyes, his engaging sense of humor and how delicately he handled my cantalopes. Well, why didn't you tell me? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. You got the whole family off on the wrong foot. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura, do you realize what you're asking? Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. You had an accident. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! No Traffic. Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. Carl Otis Winslow: [after picking up Eddie who was arrested for gambling] Edward, stop looking around for Steve, he's at his own home having this same conversation with his parents. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Laura: Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met! You can stay. Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? So, I figured if I doubled the temperature, I could cook it in half the time. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. She's mine! No. Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" Now, what you do on your own time is your business. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Forget it, Carl, it's quicksand. Mucus comes in so many colors. I'm going to give you an 'A'. Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. What do you have to say for yourselves? Maxine: Ugh, what is this? You need to get out more. "No mo giet itsu mana! The man was open all day! Upload. In the 1991 episode, Steve Urkel was the cousin of D.J.'s friend Julie (Tasha Scott), who gives Stephanie Tanner (Jodie Sweetin) some valuable advice, after learning that she has to wear reading . Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? Steve Urkel: Hey, you gotta get up if want to get dow oh [guests scream as Steve falls off the edge of the roof]. [to self] WOW! Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers, Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp. I have feelings. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! Then we par-tay, see no problem. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'm not joking. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Caterer trainees. I don't know what to say. But I like myself, and that makes me cool. Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? [laughs] Bye! I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. Why that low-down-cheap-bunder-headed-mud-slinging-bush-wacking-slanderous-snake-in-a-skirt is blackmailing you! Laura: Yeah. Join. I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok. Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. Rachel Crawford: Steve, are you sure you're okay? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back. Rachel Crawford: Oh. [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Family Matters Quotes Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. Steve Urkel: [as Waldo hands Steve a cup of the spiked punch] Why should I Laura, I'm the pife of the larty! Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. Harriette Winslow: You have to understand, back in Detroit where he's from, the police are considered the enemy, so he doesn't trust them. Laura: Just let me fall! Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. r/Unexpected on Reddit: Pick up lines as it's peak Verbs are our friends. Would you reward me with a kiss? Carl Otis Winslow: There was an E.Coli scale in the chocolate and I tasted a few to make sure the box was safe. You trifled with my emotions! The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! My parents play this with me all the time! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. I want more Punch! Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Harriette Winslow: Mother Winslow, take all the toddlers up to your room. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug.